A Tumultuous Start

Part 1: A Tumultuous Start

It's not an understatement when I say I'm a late bloomer. I attribute it to all the Disney movies, unrealistic Korean dramas, and my hopeless romantic nature. By the time I turned 21, I worried if it was weird that I had yet to have my first kiss. Like any single person in New York, I downloaded Tinder and proceeded to swipe. I was so shocked when I got my first match that I threw my phone onto my bed. I exchanged a few messages with people. I put thought into my responses but slowly realized that a lot of the guys were not interested in actually having a conversation. It was all so new to me, someone who either was too timid to speak to her crushes or held it in while chilling in the friend zone. The first person I tried to make plans with via Tinder was the catalyst, but he was not the person I ended up meeting that night.

I was feeling restless and lonely that night, so I responded when a guy messaged me on Tinder. He was the typical "looking for a hookup" dude, but I didn't know it at the time. He asked if I wanted to meet up at a bar at 10 pm (you're probably wondering how long I've lived under a rock. A very long time). It felt a little late, but I was excited because this was my first time being asked on a date, or what I perceived as a date. It became pretty clear that this guy had no intention of meeting when 9 pm rolled around and he hadn't confirmed the meeting. I had already dressed up and put makeup on. I mindlessly opened another app, WeChat, while hoping he would follow-up, but also wondering if perhaps he got hit by a yellow taxi and that's why he hasn't responded. New York taxis are pretty aggressive. I discovered a new function in WeChat that was not there before. Curiosity got the best of me, and I opened the "people around me" tab. Almost immediately a few people messaged me. It's pretty amazing how people can make anything into a hookup app. I got the typical "Hey" or "Hi." Some guys took it a step up and sent "Hey, your pretty." I didn't bother responding with "it's you're not your." Anyways, one person sent a cute sticker. I don't know what it was, probably because I was upset about the Tinder guy, but I responded. He was visiting New York with his dad, but he lived in Connecticut and worked as a software engineer at a hedge fund. I was intrigued. We agreed to meet on a street corner in midtown.

It was the end of May, and that night was pretty warm. I nervously waited next to the fountain, looking around to see if any of the guys were looking at me. I had one picture to go off of, so I didn't really know how he looked like. I know, I was so stupid. Still alive though! I was deep in thought when a guy approached me. First thought: "Oh thank God he's taller." Second thought: "He's not bad looking." I think he had the same thought because he looked visibly relieved. We exchanged greetings and then he immediately took my hand and started walking. I was pretty shocked because this was the first time someone held my hand in a non-platonic way. Remember, late bloomer. We walked around while he tried to find a bar. We eventually ended up at a bar near Times Square. We talked about work, our school days, and career goals, all the while getting happier and happier. Somewhere amidst all that he leaned in and planted one. I stared back at him with a stupid grin and blurted out, "that was my first kiss." He looked surprised and responded with something along the lines of "that's unexpected, but that's cute." My heart fluttered. We hung out until 3 in the morning at the waterfront. The next day we texted back and forth. I told him about my adventure at the MET and he told me about the things he saw with his dad.

He went back to Connecticut. Although we didn't see each other we consistently texted back and forth. He would message "Good Morning" and "Good Night" every day. I was always afraid to display any signs of liking someone, but affection seemed to come so naturally to him that it made me open up a little. I still had my reservations, but I began to like him more and more. Two weeks after meeting him I had to return to school for my graduation ceremony. I told my friends about him, and how much I'm beginning to like this guy, someone I virtually had no information about. My friends, being the caring and protective friends they are, were skeptical. In hindsight, all the sweet talk and flirting he did were all red flags, but I was wearing rose-colored glasses. I enjoyed my last hurrah as a college student but was excited to head back to New York. The guy and I talked about possibly meeting up the weekend after for coffee. That never happened.

It was mid-week when two of my close friends told me they wanted to talk to me over Skype. One of my friends was very good at digging up information about people online. Based off everything I told her about this guy, she managed to find his social media accounts. It turns out his name was different than the one he used, and the one I had been referring to him as. I was shocked, but I wasn't as upset as I thought I would be. I calmly took the information and sat with it for half a day. The next day I confronted him. He was flustered and provided a lofty and evasive explanation about internet security. I told him that I wasn't angry (which I kind of was) but was rather disappointed that he felt justified to lie to me for three weeks. One of my friends later pointed out that it would have been an awkward conversation regardless. He shouldn't have lied in the first place. Maybe he had something to hide, but I wasn't about that life. So that was how my first experience ended. Rather disappointing, but from that, I learned that you are not responsible for other people's past experiences, their baggage, and certainly not their terrible behavior. You are allowed to cut someone out for lying, even if "everything else they said was true." Lastly, do your homework and check (not too extensively) that the information is accurate.